


Disconnect

by MarigoldVance



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: (i feel like i need to start clarifying that), (my bad ...), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fíli & Kíli are teenagers (19/17), Fíli & Kíli aren't related, Kíli is an awkward duckling, M/M, Prompt Fill, WinterFRE2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22451884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarigoldVance/pseuds/MarigoldVance
Summary: Kíli cringed, rereading the message several times, each time losing another piece of his already questionable dignity.It was out there and there was nothing he could do about it.FML.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 39
Collections: GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020





	Disconnect

**Author's Note:**

> for the prompt: " _78\. Met online AU_ "

Kíli collapsed into his desk chair, swivelling it from his desk to his backpack dropped carelessly beside his bedroom door. He pulled out the _seventy pound_ – a modest estimation – history text and the notebook he’d used to scribble down his teacher’s homework instructions. 

Back at his desk, computer warmed up and blank Word document ready, everything as organized as a seventeen-year-old could get them, Kíli glanced over that week’s assignment and let his head fall into folded arms. He groaned; a long, pained sound that made him think of a wounded animal. It wasn’t too much of a stretch: Kíli was likely going to get his ears boxed if his mother learned his only gold-star, A+ quality was _procrastination_. 

_Due Next Wednesday_ had been violently (though uselessly) penned in massive, scratchy red letters across the top of the page. It was Tuesday. Of the week the assignment was due. Making it due _tomorrow_ and, Christ, Kíli hadn’t even cracked the textbook.

What could he say? Kíli had obligations outside of the trudging, mundane academic routine. Obligations that demanded his time and attention. Obligations like —

» _ping!_ «

— like that!

Kíli’s head snapped up at the alert. He swept an arm across his desk, pushing the textbook, notebook and the two or three loose sheets of paper his teacher had handed out, onto the floor. Straightening his keyboard and finding the mouse buried under a small pile of used tissues (it wasn’t what you think!), Kíli quickly expanded his already opened web browser and saw, in the corner of the page, a little notification _demanding his attention_. See? Very important business he absolutely _could not_ ignore. Kíli wasn’t rude.

He clicked the message open, his mouth spreading into an amused smile as he went along, reading what the sender felt was _highly sensitive_ information: A detailed summary of Kíli’s history assignment as well as highlights from the textbook that Kíli would probably need to include, assuming that’s what the giant copy-pasted arrows were screaming. They weren’t the answers but they were immensely more helpful than whatever the hell garbage he’d made notes of in class.

« _how did u kno?_ » Kíli sent back, nibbling the corner of the goofy grin he wore.

For some reason, he couldn’t help it. The boy (and Kíli knew it was a regular, not-a-pedo _boy_ , no need to call Dateline) on the other side of the screen stirred these feelings in Kíli that he couldn’t explain. Didn’t really care to. They were new and nice and warm and made him blush from time to time; not from anything dirty or suggestive, just … it was nice, okay? And that’s all that mattered. Kíli didn’t want to dig too deeply lest he overthink himself down the tracks that led to an anxiety attack.

» _You mentioned it last week. Thought you might leave it til last minute XD_ «

“You really get me, mate.” Kíli sighed, a little dreamy, a little astonished that someone paid attention – deliberately and of their own volition – to who he was and how he chose to exist as a person.

« _thx! r u free for a session tonite or …?_ »

Kíli’s knee bounced and his palms started to feel clammy as he waited for a response.

» _Finish your homework, then we’ll see, yeah?_ «

Kíli laughed, agreeing out loud before realizing that his friend couldn’t hear him.

«👍»  
« _thx for the help. i swear i wudda failed last term without u LOL_ »

» _LOL yeah, you definitely owe me._ «

The words were out faster than Kíli had time to process them and, without taking a second to consider the implications of what he was saying, the message was sent:

« _if i get an A, we should meet so i can thank you properly_ »

Wait. What was that brain-to-keyboard-filter? You’re broken? Yeah, don’t worry, memo received.

It sounded— _shit_. Kíli hadn’t intended for the underlayer of sexual innuendo but there it was, beaming at him in black and white while he slowly shrunk in on himself, ears and face burning as he dreaded what his friend would say, if he would say anything at all. Kíli's stomach churned, his hands clenched and twisted into the material of his shirt, fidgeting for a distraction. _Please don’t hate me,_ he begged, sweating now, vision blurring as he reread the message then shrunk the browser, then expanded it, read the message again and crawled further into his panic. _Ohmygod I didn’t mean it like that_!

The minutes dragged on. Kíli was slowly slipping into a spiral of insecurity, his dignity stripped away one shred at time. As he went to type an apology, an explanation, something completely off topic that might distract his friend long enough for Kíli to invent some witty and completely believable reason that he’d basically _solicited himself for sex-things_ , his friend replied.

» _(Sorry, had to let the dog out)_ «  
» _That sounds great! I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you get an A :D_ «

And somewhere between that message and Kíli giving a hasty goodbye to focus on his assignment, Kíli died.

∆

Kíli shivered, hands shoved in his pockets and chin tucked into the collar of his jacket. He watched people mill about the square, going about their business without paying him any mind. Even the homeless man sat at the base of the statue hadn’t bothered him. Kíli wasn’t sure if he was insulted or relieved after watching the homeless man prowl after everyone and anyone else who cut through the public space on their way to wherever.

Today was a bad day for Kíli to feel like he wasn’t even worth a homeless man’s time or attention. He was nervous enough; jittery, knees jerking, dry tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, breath a little too quick.

Kíli’s assignment had earned an A-.

His friend – _Fíli_ , he now knew after Fíli insisted they exchange names before meeting – had sent Kíli a photo so Kíli would recognize him upon arrival, save them both the awkward lurking with their phones out, eating away precious data as they scrambled to message the other _here! – where are you! – I’m over here! – I don’t see you! – wave, jump, punch someone, do crime, so I know who you are!_

Fíli was _gorgeous_. The kind of stunning only seen on the Disney Channel or in films in which teenagers are usually portrayed by young adults, chiseled and fit and sure of themselves. He was startling blue eyes and beach waves and, _God_ , shoulders and arms, a wet dream on legs who was about to bring sunshine to Kíli’s overcast skies.

Kíli felt too young and knobby in comparison. He was athletic, sure, but not _Fíli-Grade_ juicy. That guy was someone Kíli imagined everyone wanted to sink their teeth into with gusto.

In exchange, Kíli sent Fíli a decent enough photo of himself from his Instagram: Lots of face, no body.

Unlike his normal shortcomings with time management, Kíli made it to the place they’d agreed to meet well in advance. Early enough to people-watch, scroll through the last five messages Fíli had sent him that morning (all littered with smiley-face emojis and excitement) and begin to think. And then _over_ think. And then, against his better judgment, start imagining _worst case scenarios_.

This was a mistake, Kíli told himself. He wasn’t ready for this. What if his In Real Life personality couldn’t maintain Fíli’s interest? What if Kíli was too damn awkward to say more than three words? What if they didn’t have anything outside of gaming and last-minute homework in common?

That was how they met, after all, on a forum discussing their favorite game. But Kíli was more than just games and school. There was more to him. And if Fíli hated that _more_ , Kíli would be devastated.

Furthermore, Kíli fretted, online, Kíli could walk away from the computer mid-conversation to do something else before picking it up again. Interaction, _connection_ , wasn’t the same online as it was in the real, living-breathing world. The energy was different.

And Kíli was certain that his energy right now was several different shades of wrong.

Kíli worried his lower lip, chewing the skin thin as he tried to figure out the best course of action. Finally, making a decision he was sure he would regret later (but that would save him from an anxiety attack _now_ ), Kíli stood from where he’d been sitting on a cold bench and marched across the street, ducking into a small bookshop where he hoped to find something to take his mind off his stupid, _stupid_ brain.

About ten minutes later, Kíli caught a glimpse through the window. A flash of blond, a broad body turning in slow circles in the center of the square Kíli had escaped. Kíli watched Fíli from where he was tucked between the tall, overstacked shelves, his heart breaking when the confusion settled on Fíli’s face. When Fíli pulled out his phone – and heard the responding _ding_ of a new message on his own – Kíli felt the pressure build behind his eyes. Fíli paused, stared at the screen, before lifting his head to scan the area again.

But Kíli couldn’t make himself move. His legs were locked, hands fastened to the edge of a bookshelf he hadn’t realized he’d been white-knuckling until he couldn’t tug himself free.

Another ten, twenty, thirty minutes passed before Fíli walked away.

∆

“Why _did_ you stand me up?” Fíli wonders, lying longways across the couch, ankles crossed on the plushy armrest and head supported by _all_ of Kíli’s decorative pillows.

Two years, Kíli grumbles inwardly, and Fíli still doesn’t understand the concept of _clean clothes on a clean couch, thank you_.

Kíli raises an eyebrow, very pointedly _not_ brooding as he watches his dusty boyfriend lounge across the antique-white cushions, lets the mudtrail across the hardwood floor – from the patio door to where a pair of bulky construction boots sit at the edge of the living room carpet (also new) – slide like water off a duck’s back.

Though he's grateful for Fíli's help with fixing the crumbly patio Kíli's landlord insists is safe, Kíli can't stand the mess that tracks Fíli when he treks back inside for a break.

It takes a moment for Kíli to register that Fíli had spoken, “Hm?”

“That day we were supposed to meet. Why did you duck out?”

Fíli cranes his neck, blinking curiously at Kíli whose face goes through a channel-surf of expressions before settling on _confused as hell_.

“What do you mean? We spent the entire night and day after together!”

“Yes.” Fíli agrees and then jogs Kíli’s memory, “But only because we happened to _literally_ bump into one another. Remember? Hot coffee all over my shirt? Cupcake all over yours? Ring any bells?”

A chorus of bells, actually.

Kíli slouches where he sits in the armchair –equally as new as the couch it compliments beautifully – and recalls, “Right. That did happen.”

“Yes, it did.” Fíli isn’t upset, grinning _cat-and-cream_ at the embarrassment writ in the creases of Kíli’s face. “You stood me up and then, and I’m sure of it, followed me when I went to get Pity Coffee.”

Kíli snorts. “Pity Coffee?”

When Fíli speaks again, Kíli doesn’t hear the same snark and sass that was thick in Fíli’s tone until that point. Fíli sounds _small_ , _uncertain_. Things Kíli still can’t reconcile ever roiling beneath Fíli’s quiet smoulder and general intensity. And kindness, and genuine consideration; his insurmountable patience when he actively listens to everything Kíli waffles on about without — 

“I was feeling somewhat terrible about myself … when I thought – you know. So, yeah, Pity Coffee.”

“Oh.” Kíli can’t say much else, knocked sideways by Fíli’s honesty and how brutally guilty he is for having made Fíli feel that way.

Fíli waves a hand and sniggers, “It’s obviously fine now, Kee. I’m just curious.”

Kíli stutters, filing through excuses as if Fíli would believe any of them. Swallowing thickly, Kíli opts to give Fíli the truth, as pathetic as it sounds in his mind.

“I was scared.” Fíli swings his feet to the floor, sitting up at Kíli’s admission, leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees and give Kíli his full attention. “I … thought – and I mean _believed beyond a shadow of a doubt_ – that you’d think I was some idiot kid.”

Fíli reaches out to place a hand over Kíli’s where it’s clenched on the armrest of his seat. “You do remember that I was also a kid, right?”

“Yeah but, Fee, you were _you_.” 

“And you were _you_ , Kee! I was terrified! You were this cute, geeky boy who I wanted to impress!”

Kíli stared, “I’m sorry, are we remembering the same _me_?”

“Yes, you idiot.”

Kíli chuckles, shakes his head, and turns his hand palm-up, threading his fingers between Fíli’s and squeezing.

“Then I’m definitely glad I stalked you into that coffee shop.” He says with a self-satisfied grin.

“Me too.” Fíli smiles softly, adding, “Creeper.”

“And so what if I am? Now.” Kíli snatches his hand back and claps, rolling himself forward and standing in one motion. Gaze hard and stubborn, Kíli bores into Fíli, “Get off my new couch before it needs to be steam cleaned! It’s the first piece of adult furniture I own.”

Rebelling, Fíli snuggles into the cushions, buries his face into the pile of decorative pillows and wriggles around as if marking his territory somehow. “You can’t make me.” He cheeks.

Kíli growls playfully and grabs Fíli’s accessible arm and shoulder, forcing him to turn over and almost flop off the couch. “Just because I love you, doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you if you ruin it!”

It takes a moment to catch up to both of them but, when it does, they both freeze and hold their breath.

“Just because you _what_?” Fili chokes, eyes sparkling at Kili.

And there Kíli goes again, just tossing out words before considering their impact …

This time however, he knows there’s nothing to be afraid of.

**Author's Note:**

> for the sake of this ficlet, i imagined Kee was using Tumblr because ... what the heck else (aside from FB Messenger/Twitter) do the kids use these days? Tik Tok? what about Snapchat, is it still a thing? * _glances around_ * is - ... does it still exist?


End file.
